I have become aware that its important to focus on the primary behaviour and ignore the secondary behaviour. The least intrusive tone is best, give them a choice and don't let your emotions come to the forefront by getting involved in the secondary behviour, focus on exactly what they have done. Getting involved in the secondary behaviour could mean that your frustrations with the situation could be personal and could get in the way of you being effective as a behaviour manager. Don't take behaviour personally!!!!!